It was my turn to lead my fellow cadets in song during a worship class at the College for Officers' Training (CFOT) in Winnipeg. This was my dream and my nightmare all in one. I had wanted to become a worship leader for some time, but my skills were underdeveloped. I was more anxious about this assignment than any other task at CFOT. If I sensed that my peers thought I was inadequate or musically inferior, I would be greatly discouraged. I stood tentatively before them, smiling to offset my nervousness. Then I began to lead them in worship. Although I made a few mistakes along the way, I felt confident about my leadership. When the song had ended, the other cadets described my performance. While they offered some suggestions for improvement, they mainly uplifted me. I sat down feeling a few feet taller.

This was a moment of affirmation and support by my fellow Christians. I felt safe and comfortable and was able to thank my peers and feel positive about the experience. They had encouraged me in ways they did not even realize.

Of course, we are inclined to react much differently when the situation is reversed. It's not easy to remain calm when someone has slighted or hurt us. When there is tension between ourselves and others, we often pull back or retaliate rather than address the issue in a mature Christian manner. I wrestle intensely with these moments. I prefer the happy community without any conflict. However, this is not always possible. In our sinfulness, uncleanness pours out faster than we realize. Mark 7:20-22 says that, “What comes out of a man is what makes him 'unclean.' For from within, out of men's hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and make a man 'unclean.' ”

Whether or not we acknowledge that we are susceptible to these sins, they inevitably affect our relationships. So, what do we do with the conflicts that arise as a result? God says that we need to confront it ... to speak the truth in love. Proverbs 27 outlines this three times: “Better is open rebuke than hidden love” (vs. 5); “Wounds from a friend can be trusted”(vs. 6); “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens another” (vs. 17). Dealing with conflict requires courage, prayer and love. The goal is to heal tarnished relationships and experience the type of community God intended. There are no shortcuts; no easy way to tackle difficult issues. When we face conflict or broken relationships, we can, as the body of Christ, work towards restoration and righteous relationships.

michelle_elsasserCadet Michelle Elsasser is married to Kevin, and they have two children, Janna (6) and Caleb (5). In August 2008, the Elsassers left Calgary, Alberta, to enter The Salvation Army's College for Officer Training in Winnipeg. Cadet Elsasser enjoys reading, hiking, creative arts and watching Heartland, her favourite T.V. show.

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