“Lord, if this is your plan for my life, give me your peace!”

Before entering The Salvation Army’s College for Officer Training in 2010 as a single officer, these were the words I prayed earnestly—words that God graciously answered. After nearly 14 years of full-time ministry, God continues to give me a peace that surpasses my human understanding.

While his peace remains, there have been moments when it has been tested, particularly when challenging comments based on my gender and marital status have been directed towards me—comments like, “You’re only half an officer,” or, “I don’t believe in women officers,” and, “women should wear skirts if they stand behind the pulpit.”

For the most part, that inner peace has enabled me to laugh these comments off, shrug my shoulders and trust that hearts and perspectives might change with time. But one comment, above the others, shook me deeply: “Kim can do it—she doesn’t have a family or any other responsibilities.”

In that moment, I was speechless. For the first time in a long time, I felt a deep sense of loneliness as a single officer. I found myself questioning why someone would think this of me and, potentially, of all single officers.

Yes, I am a single officer. But the idea that I do not have family or other responsibilities is far from the truth.

I have two beautiful nephews with whom I journey through life every day. Though I am geographically distant, I am present in their lives—FaceTime calls after school, prayers at bedtime, shared celebrations and walking through challenging days together. These bonds are sacred to me, and I cannot imagine loving those boys more if they were my own children. 

At the same time, I am deeply grateful that, in addition to my family, I have close friends who continually speak wisdom and perspective into my life. These are friends who share in this calling of full-time officership—trusted companions who celebrate my joys and walk with me through challenging seasons. Their presence is a gift, reminding me that while the journey can feel solitary at times, I am not alone.

Single officers often carry unique challenges that are not always visible. There can be assumptions that we are more available, more flexible or less burdened. Yet our realities can be complex in ways that are not always recognized.

We frequently navigate life and ministry without the built-in support system that others may take for granted. We carry the full responsibilities of our appointments without a spouse to lean on. Decisions, transitions and difficult days are often processed alone—even as we faithfully pour ourselves into ministry and support those around us.

And yet, in the midst of this, God’s peace remains. That peace reminds me that my identity is not defined by my marital status but by my calling as a child of God. He continues to reassure me that my life is full, in ministry and in relationships—relationship with him and relationships with my family and friends who enrich my life in so many ways.

Gender equity is not only about creating space for all in leadership; it is also about recognizing and valuing the diverse experiences that we each bring—including those of single women officers. It is about challenging assumptions, broadening understanding and affirming that everyone’s calling is valid and significant.

My prayer continues to be the same: “Lord, if this is your plan for my life, give me Your peace.”

And he does—again and again.