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May14ThuA Covid-19 Prayer May 14, 2020 Major Beverly Ivany
- Filed Under:
- Spiritual Life Development
I really don’t understand what’s going on, Lord.
I’m sure You are trying to teach us something through this whole virus experience; trying to encourage us to connect more with others and to think more about what’s really important: health, well-being, family, friends, Creation, life itself.
But to be blatantly honest, I’m really struggling. Every day seems to be running into every other day... having to keep apart from everyone… in complete isolation… aloneness… which translates into an all-consuming cloud of darkness and gloom …
I have always liked having “me” time in the past. But these past weeks have somehow pushed me over the edge; and I confess: I’m not doing well with it, at all. My anxiety level is sky high. For It’s all becoming too much. At times it seems like I have no purpose for my existence. I’m not even sure about the real meaning of my life anymore. Usually I am not prone to negativity or depression; but these days—which appear to be unending-- seem to be so bleak, and stark. My inner struggles with all of this are becoming extremely pronounced. So the question arises: Lord, what’s it all about?
And almost as soon as I utter this desperate cry from the depths of my inmost being, I hear Your voice. A voice that immediately calms all my fears – reassuring me of Your constant presence. You say to me: “I have this, my child!” You remind me that You still care, and love, and have purpose—yes even for my life right now, and for all those around me. It’s all about trusting You for today, and tomorrow. About putting my utmost faith in You. About knowing You have everything under complete control—and have had, from the very beginning.
This is what I have needed to hear – to get me through. That I do have purpose, and meaning. You remind me that I am to be Jesus for the whosoever. For my family. For friends. For those in my neighbourhood. Yes, to reach out and love even those I have never met before. To be open to whatever You want from me, every single day; even to be prepared for things completely out of my comfort zone. To be used by You.
What’s it all about then? It’s about being faithful servants. It’s about being available—for anything that’s required. It’s about trusting You, God, implicitly, and having absolute faith in You for all the days that lie ahead. It’s about Your extravagant love for me; and about my unending love for You—my Lord and my Saviour !