Have you ever asked an older couple how they met or for some secrets to their long marriage? This can be a ton of fun. They love it, and you will, too, providing they don’t begin to contradict or interrupt each other.

“No, it wasn’t a Tuesday, it was a Thursday. We weren’t at that pizza joint at all. We drove four hours in that ugly car you had with no heater and went skiing. Remember? You fell off the ski lift and landed on your head? I sat with you during the coma.”

“Oh, you’re right, Honey. For some reason I’d forgotten.”

More Reasons Why

Well, last February in Faith & Friends, I set out to tell you 40 reasons why my wife, Ramona, and I have been married 40 years. But I only had time for 20. So today, I’d like to continue that list, which included serious things like God’s grace and silly things like, “Once or twice I have said, ‘You’re right. We should have turned back there.’ ” I promised to finish that list, so we’ll start with reason number 21.

Here we go:

21. I open jars and say, “You loosened it, Baby,” even though we both know that it was my manly muscles that opened the jar.

22. Gratitude. We go looking for God’s goodness. We even pray before meals. Especially when I cook them.

23. I never buy her clothing without her present. Why? The chances are one in 9,000 that I’ll get her size right, and the other 8,999 times she might be offended.

24. When we apologize, we don’t employ the words “but” or “if I offended you.”

25. We guard our hearts and hold our tongues.

26. I don’t buy her jewelry. The jewelry Ramona wants, I can’t afford. The jewelry I can afford, she doesn’t want. OK, I’m kidding. I have bought her jewelry, and she loves it.

27. Sometimes marriage is just two people taking turns squashing down the garbage, hoping the other one caves in first and empties the bin. Most of the time, I empty the trash.

28. If she wants the last blueberry waffle, she gets it.

29. Most nights, we sleep like two spoons in a drawer.

30. We never meet alone or publicly with a member of the opposite sex. And never in an office without windows or an open door.

31. We’d never climb Mount Everest alone, so we’ve been steeped in community.

32. We attend church together. Unless we’re hospitalized.

33. I chose fantastic friends who would have murdered me if I mistreated my wife.

34. We never solve problems via text messages.

35. I view my own selfishness more seriously than she does.

36. I buy black underwear in bulk.

37. Once or twice, she has said, “Here’s the remote. Let’s watch something manly.”

38. Appreciation. Once Ramona said, “I know you can’t fix cars. But you can make waffles and they’re good.”

39. Each night, we pray together. Those prayers unite us before God. They boost transparency, humility and build our faith as we see prayers answered.

40. We share a common purpose. Date nights are great, leaving flirtatious messages on each other’s voicemail is good (make sure you dial correctly), but we are here to love God and exalt His name together, we share the purpose for which we were created, and things get truly awesome.

And because we have now celebrated 41 years in wedded bliss, here’s a bonus reason why we’ve been married this long.

41. I often wake up and think “What can I do or say to make her glad she married me?”

I thank God for 41 years of His grace. We’re so aware that He’s been good to us through it all.

And laughter helps, too. Lately my wife has learned the secret of getting me to do something. She simply suggests I’m too old to do it.

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