Recently, my wife and I took complete leave of our senses and showed up at our nephew’s wedding with 13 grandkids, all shined up like they would be displayed in a store window. We must have looked like we were auditioning for 22 Kids and Counting.

Thankfully, their parents were with us, but still we adults were vastly outnumbered, and I was praying, “Lord, help us not be the main attraction.”

 God heard that prayer. Our 13 were the best-behaved kids in the history of weddings. In fact, halfway through, someone leaned forward and said to me, “They’re really good.”

I replied, “Uh, they’re really medicated.” We both laughed.

The Play by Play

I was kidding, of course. I’m quite certain none were medicated. Andrey, who had never witnessed a wedding before, was sitting beside me.

As the proceedings began, I whispered the play-by-play analysis into his ear in hopes he would stay interested, learn something and not shout out as a child—not mine—once did, “Hey! Are we going to her next wedding, too?”

As he sat there quietly, I narrated, “The bride is the lady. The groom is the man. See, he’s taking his parents down to the front row. Someone might cry. You watch. Now, those are his friends coming in. Let’s count them. Nine. Wow. That’s a lot. I’ve never seen that many, Andrey. And now, those are the bride’s friends coming down the aisle.”

“Their hair is all poofed,” said Andrey. And he was right.

With the entire party onstage, I said, “The bride is next.”

Andrey surveyed the platform. My nephew, DJ, the eager groom, stood transfixed, smiling at two long lines of attendants.

Suddenly Andrey said, “Now, does he pick one?”

I think laughter is as welcome a sentiment as tears at a wedding, and I couldn’t help myself. I whispered his words to my wife, and there we sat, two mature adults, chuckling away.

A Date and a Baby

As any married person knows, laughter is an essential ingredient in a happy marriage.

I often speak to couples about the three Cs that help lay a solid foundation. When I asked one audience for suggestions, the answers came quick: “Chocolate.” “Cash.” Someone yelled out, “Kindness.”

Here is what they are:

The first is Communication, something we guys historically have not done all that well. One guy said, “But I text her. Doesn’t that count?” Uh … sure it does, but you’d best do more than that. Extremely interested husbands have happy wives. Clear and effective communication helps mend and solve about 79 percent of relationship issues. Of course, it’s not all about talking; it’s non-verbal, too. Remember, actions speak louder than words.

The second is Commitment. Standing at the altar, we hadn’t a clue about a hundred things, including how soon we would need to stand strong through thick and thin. Through tragedy and epilepsy and burnout. At times we would take turns being the caregiver. But frankly, love would dry up. It’s a frightening thing. And when it happens, you put feelings aside and act in love. You be kind. Be understanding. Be forgiving. And you discover that the dry times are less frequent, that they give way to something more constant and amazing. C.S. Lewis was right, “It is in the act of loving that we come to love.”

The third is Christ. The only way to manage difficult times and come through them stronger is by turning to God and facing them together.Trust me when I say there is not a snowball’s chance in Hawaii that we would be married this long if we hadn’t together put Jesus of Nazareth at the very centre. From Him, we learned to serve, to consider our spouse as more important than ourselves. By His grace, we learned the lasting joy of sticking with our vows.

With the ceremony over, we stood to applaud the newest couple in town, DJ and Chelsea. That’s when my granddaughter said, “I know what happens next. They’re gonna have a date and find a baby.”