It is with humility and trepidation that I write this article. Humility because I am still learning to make sense of tragedy and unexpected grief. Trepidation because I am aware of the enormous pain associated with the death of a loved one. A theological explanation may do more harm than good for those coping with loss.

Nevertheless, the problem of pain is one that we all struggle with. God's relationship to suffering is complicated and mysterious. For some reason he often seems remote in times of pain or crisis. Where does God fit into our tragedies? If God is all powerful and loves us, why do we have to suffer?

As I see it, there are three possible answers:

1. God caused the tragedy and the resulting grief for reasons known only to him.
2. God did not cause the suffering but allowed it to happen. This explanation is often followed by the argument that God will bring something good out of the tragedy.
3. God was not the cause of the tragedy, but rather the tragedy is a consequence of the fallen world in which we live.

Is God in Control?
The first two explanations—that God causes or allows suffering—stem from the desire to affirm God's sovereignty and absolute control of events. If we look to Scripture there is much to support this view. To suggest that God is not in control, or that things happen outside of God's control, sounds heretical. But why then doesn't he stop tragedy before it happens? Can God have absolute control on the one hand and allow freedom on the other? If we reconsider our definition of “control,” perhaps we can understand the role played by free will.

We tend to think of control in terms of dictators who command unquestioning obedience or a master controller who flicks a switch to produce a programmed response. But what if God's control over us is more like the influence parents have over their children? We exercise authority over them and offer instruction based on our love for them. We teach them according to our own knowledge and experience because we have their best interest at heart. We give them all that they need, but ultimately, they must decide to follow our instructions or not.

Scripture often speaks of our connection to God in terms of a parent-child relationship. If this is the case, then human beings are susceptible to tragic experiences by the choices we make: the drunk driver who kills a child; the tax cheat who gets audited; the adulterer who faces divorce. Surely these “tragedies” were the result of human decision. God did not cause the tragedy. Did he simply allow them to happen so that he could teach us a lesson? What happens when bad behaviour goes unpunished? What about natural disasters such as tsunamis, hurricanes or earthquakes? What about systemic sin, such as poverty or damage to the environment? Who is to blame?

Groaning for Redemption
I'd like to suggest a third theological option. Not only do people make bad decisions─ intentionally or unintentionally─with serious consequences, but many terrible tragedies are also the result of the power of sin that is at loose in the world. Sin is not just individual action, but a condition of our fallen planet. The Apostle Paul writes of our battle against the “powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil” (see Ephesians 6:12). We are not only the perpetrators of sin, but also the victims of this degradation.

Does this mean that God is not in control? Absolutely not! He is the alpha and the omega, the beginning and the end. The Scriptures emphasize that God will see to it that goodness comes about in his appointed time. In the meantime, we must live as best we can in this world―with the consequences of the fall of humankind and the freedom to choose good or evil.

I cannot accept that senseless tragedy and the accompanying grief is part of God's plan. To hold to this view one would have to conclude that from the beginning of time God determined that cancer would strike, a marriage would be destroyed, a loved one would be killed in a car accident. To suggest that God caused this or allowed it to happen for some greater good does not fit the character of the God of our salvation.

What, then, do we conclude about suffering? We live in a fallen world. The floodgate of sin and death was opened through the bad choice made by Adam and Eve. This has had eternal consequences, not only for humanity but for all of creation that has been groaning for redemption (see Romans 8:22). The perfect world of creation has also been affected by the consequences of sin and death and will continue to suffer until the day when all will be restored.

Many years ago Rabbi Harold Kushner wrote a bestseller entitled When Bad Things Happen to Good People, the story of his discovery of where God fit into his son's progeria (rapid aging disease). The book is not titled “Why Bad Things Happen to Good People” but rather “When Bad Things ….” The title acknowledges that we live in a fallen world where the sun rises and sets and the rains fall on the just and the unjust (see Matthew 5:45).

I'm in His Hands
Where is God in all of this? Where is God when bad things happen? God is with us. That's the mystery. That's the message from Genesis to Revelation. In life and in death, in sickness and in health, in war and in peace, God says that “I am with you always” (see Matthew 28:20).

God often communicates to us in the person who journeys with us in our grief. We see him in the people who gather around to grieve with us so that we are not alone. Although we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, God is with us (see Psalm 23). And while God does not deliberately allow tragedy to bring about good—as though the ends somehow justify the means—by his unlimited grace, redemptive opportunities will often present themselves if we are open enough to see them.

Stanley Ditmer's beautiful chorus I'm in His Hands has brought a tremendous amount of comfort to people in uncertain times. But I must confess that I have difficulty singing these words because they give the impression that God somehow preplans tragedy. In fact, I privately change the words that say, “The days I cannot see have all been planned for me” to “The days I cannot see, you will be there for me.” And the truth continues with, “His way is best, you see; I'm in his hands.”

“For I hold you by your right hand—I, the Lord your God. And I say to you, 'Don't be afraid. I am here to help you' ” (Isaiah 41:13 NLT).