Pat and Bill, a Christian couple from Ontario, often visited their parents and siblings in California. They prayed that somehow their faith in Christ would “rub off” on family members. Over the years Bill's sister, Joan, had observed their Christian lifestyle and knew they were regular church attenders. She began to raise questions about personal faith and life after death. Pat and Bill were delighted to learn that Joan's neighbour had been witnessing to Joan on their daily walks together. God was at work! But recently, Joan began feeling more and more uncomfortable about these conversations and stopped her walks with the Christian neighbour. “Somehow I feel guilty,” she admitted, “but I'm not sure why.”

What happened? Was the neighbour sensitive in her approach and faithful in her witness to a pre-Christian? Was the guilt Joan felt a result of the Holy Spirit's conviction? Or was the neighbour too forceful in sharing her faith, too urgent in accomplishing her agenda of bringing another “lost soul” into the fold? Impatient evangelism seldom works!

How we treat people—all people—is a very important challenge for each Christian. Especially when we sense that the Holy Spirit has prepared the way for the good news (the “gospel”) to be shared. Yet sometimes manipulation creeps into our approach and we rationalize that the means don't matter as long as the end (personal salvation) is accomplished.

A young Christian couple with three children invited some unchurched friends to their home for dinner. It was a warm, relaxing occasion. At the conclusion of the meal, the parents followed their usual custom of Scripture reading and prayer. However, instead of reading the next passage allocated for that day, they hand-picked John 3:1-21, in which Jesus says to Nicodemus, “You must be born again .…” On their way home that evening, the visiting couple commented on how awkward they felt. It appeared that their gracious hosts were sending them a message—but they didn't understand its meaning or why it was being sent.

What happened? Did the Christian couple overstep their bounds by inviting their unchurched friends to share in their family devotions? Could they have chosen another reading that may not have left their friends feeling so ill at ease and confused? Often our aggressive, “in your face” approach can do more damage than good if it makes people feel threatened or uncomfortable.

Wait For God's Moment
When it comes to evangelism (sharing our personal faith in Christ with others), Christians today can be categorized as:

• Those who never share their faith with others.
• Those who share their faith with anyone within range.
• Those who share their faith with pre-Christians in a sensitive, caring manner.

It is counter-productive to witness to our personal faith in Jesus in a way that is less than personal. Faith is best shared over the bridge of relationship. As a genuine friendship develops, lifestyle differences are noticed. We wait for God's moment and listen for the door of opportunity to creak open. Often this occurs when our new friends choose to share with us some joy or pain. They may feel quite vulnerable as they open up to us, and we need to be sensitive to these feelings. Never trivialize feelings, even if you actually don't agree with them—they are real to the one who is taking the time to share.

New Christians must be given time and support to develop. In any mentoring relationship, patience is required

Once the door is open, we plant a seed of truth and pause to witness how God will nurture it and bring it to harvest. We trust God to do his work of conviction and change. We pray for the salvation of our friend and for God's guidance. We petition our heavenly Father, who “is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9). When appropriate, we share our own experience in Christ and walk the next steps with our seeking friend.

Even after the profession of faith in Christ, doubts may assail and a relapse may occur. Perseverance on the part of the mentor is essential. Babies don't learn to walk without falling! Babes in Christ are no different. Bribes, threats or the withdrawal of personal support would be devastating to the new Christian at this point. When the Christian way becomes more difficult, more love is required from the mentor and the faith community.

This spiritual work must be built upon genuine friendship. Friendship evangelism that is conditional (e.g. “I'm your friend as long as you stop drinking alcohol and come to church with me”) is not genuine and ultimately will be ineffective. As the new child of God grows in his or her faith and focuses more on Jesus Christ, lifestyle changes and attitude transformations will occur. New Christians must be given time and support to develop. They must be handled with care—not bullied! Most of all, they need our support and the small-group encouragement that church affords. In any Christian mentoring relationship, patience is required—pressure tactics don't work.

Person-to-Person Work
As Christian mentors, we must be cautious. When discipling new Christians on an individual basis, there exists a potential for:

• Huge assumptions (e.g. “He doesn't attend church so he can't be a Christian”).
• Judgmental attitudes (e.g. “She is a Roman Catholic so she doesn't know Christ”).
• Confusing terminology (e.g. “If you don't profess to be 'born again' you can't possibly be a Christian”).

We need to treat others graciously, as God in Christ treated us with unconditional love and acceptance. The revelation of the Lord Jesus Christ as our personal Saviour is a sacred trust—a wonderful treasure that we are called to share. Jesus, our risen Lord, told his followers, “All authority in Heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations …” (Matthew 28:18-19).

So many people in our communities are “in transition.” They may be facing a new country and culture. They may be newly married, new parents or newly divorced. They might be experiencing a new location, school, job or career. Or they may be grieving a personal loss, whether a loved one, a job or their own health. These people are open to the life-changing gospel we have experienced in Christ. What an opportunity! Like the song says, “We have a gospel that matches the hour” (Gowans and Larsson, Take-Over Bid).

The challenge is ours to value this treasure of God's love and share it with others in a manner that honours him who gave us such a matchless gift.

Handle with care!