"Grade Six students admit hitting dates” read the headline in the Calgary Herald. I was flabbergasted—not that Grade Six students were admitting that they hit their dates, but that they were even dating. Young children, who should be climbing trees and making forts, are allowed to “date”? What are their parents thinking? Oh, I know it's cute when little Zach comes home and has a crush on little Sarah. But do we want them to start a romantic relationship?

“Nathan, do Grade Six kids in your school date?” I asked my son.

“Not that I know of,” he replied.

“How old do you think kids should be before they are allowed to date?” I queried.

“I don't know, maybe 15 or 16,” he replied.

“Why that age?” I asked him.

“They're more mature then,” he answered.

Nathan is 11 and attends a Christian school. It's stricter than a public school as to what behaviour is acceptable. I recognize that many can't afford to have their children educated in a Christian school and some Christian parents prefer to send their children to public schools. Our five children have attended both public and Christian schools, and our older children were home schooled for a time. All three systems have their pros and cons.

Some parents are shocked when they encounter the prevailing culture in many schools and in society. There are things that should concern us such as television programs that promote dating and relationships, and sex education that is devoid of strong moral content and biblical values.

What is our role as Christian parents in an increasingly secular and sexualized society? We are no longer the majority and our influence is waning in many areas, including school curriculum. How can we navigate this shifting moral landscape?

Here are some things to consider:
• Protect your children from what they watch on TV and at the movies. Many shows promote a lifestyle that I don't want my children to follow. I need to be more vigilant and watch for opportunities to discuss why some of these things are not good.
• In spite of what society and the school curriculum may suggest, don't let your children think that a sexually active lifestyle is acceptable. We need to teach them tolerance, compassion and kindness toward those who believe differently from us—but also to stand firm in their beliefs.
• Have frank discussions with your children about dating before they reach their teens. This will equip them to deal with the mixed messages they'll get in elementary school.
• Answer your children's questions honestly and respectfully and encourage them to be open with you.

Our children notice what we watch and listen to, how we talk and especially how we treat each other. When our daughter was dating a young man in her teens, she confided to me how she was being treated: “I don't think he really loves me, Mom. If he did, he wouldn't treat me that way. That's not the way Dad treats you.”

Some parents do not spend quality time teaching life lessons to their children. Schools are left to fill the gap. Has the Church missed an opportunity to contribute to the spiritual and moral development of young children and teens?

Encourage your corps to offer children's programs in your community and volunteer to help. Useful ideas include after-school tutoring programs, week-night programs and camp reunions on weekends for kids who attended holiday camps.

Whether our children are attending public or Christian schools, we should be as involved in activities as possible—including field trips, helping in the classroom, joining our local parent advisory councils, coaching sports and running for local school boards.

No matter where your children go to school, you have the opportunity and responsibility to contribute to their education at home.

Major Kathie Chiu is the Corps Officer and Executive Director of The Caring Place Ministries, Mountain View Community Church, Maple Ridge, B.C.