I can’t believe it, but it’s true. Ramona and I are celebrating 40 years of marriage. Yes, that’s 40—in a row. I know you expect me to cue all the standard marriage jokes at this point. But I don’t think I will. 

Until the next section.

The Reasons Why

Whether or not you’re married, and no matter how long you’ve been at this little thing called love, I hope you’ll be inspired by 40 reasons we’ve been married 40 years. Here we go. See if I can get all 40 in:

• We never checked our phones during dates. Rotary phones were too clunky to bring along anyway.

• Once or twice I have said, “You’re right. We should have turned back there.”

• We learned to lower our expectations. Ramona once told me, “All I was really hoping for was a husband who knows how to set a mouse trap.” And she was right. I can do that.

• Somehow I married a girl who loved Jesus more than she loved me. When storms blow, He is our go-to shelter.

• We love each other when we don’t feel like it.

• We love each other enough to not say everything we’re thinking.

• Sometimes I wake up and think, What can I do today to make her glad she married me?

• She mostly likes what I like. Except for golf and hockey and banana peppers and Arnold Schwarzenegger movies.

• We go looking for the good in each other and find it.

• Usually we avoid the temptation to compare our relationship with the relationships of others.

• I finally learned to start telling her what I did that day.

• We say “I love you” every single day.

• Eventually I started listening to that little voice that says, “Ask forgiveness.” 

• We didn’t have sex before marriage. Trust me, we’ve more than made up for it ever since. Ha! 

• No phones at mealtime. Unless the kids call.

• About 18 years ago, I finally learned to put her first.

• Sometimes I say sweet things like, “Let’s go buy you some chocolate.”

• We don’t let the sun go down on our wrath; we stay up and fight.

• We read together. We have time-travelled and world-hopped together through books. James Herriot. Missionary biographies. Thrillers and Second World War stories. Ramona just read these words to me from Billy Graham’s wife, Ruth: “It is a foolish woman who expects her husband to be to her that which only Jesus Christ Himself can be: always ready to forgive, totally understanding, unendingly patient, invariably tender and loving, unfailing in every area, anticipating every need and making more than adequate provision. Such expectations put a man under an impossible strain. The same goes for a man who expects too much from his wife.”

I doubt you were counting, but that was number 19 and my time is almost done. Just one more and I promise I’ll give you 20 more reasons we’ve been married 40 years in an upcoming Faith & Friends. 

Number 20 is God’s grace. By His grace we said, “I do.” And we did. We found strength to run from temptation and though we’ve struggled, by God’s grace we left no alternatives but to press on, stumbling at times, knowing God forgives, and desiring that His love governs our lives and legacies. 

I don’t know how, but somehow by God’s grace I married a girl for whom divorce was never an option. Neither was fleeing the country. 

Uh … as far I know. Oh man. I better ask her. 

“Hey honey, you wouldn’t, would you?”

Photo: EMrpize/stock.Adobe.com

Phil Callaway’s Laugh Again radio program airs 700 times a week in Canada. Visit him at laughingagain.org